My girlfriend has stopped wanting sex. Why?

Question:

I have been with my girlfriend for five years. Lately like for the 11 months she has kinda shined me off on having sex. I try to kiss her and she'll move away sometimes or she'll give me like a quick peck but that's it. I try being intimate with her but I always have to struggle. She is always like no im not in the mood, or no im tired, or I don't feel like it. I've tried talking to her asking her what the problem is if she just doesn't like kissing me anymore or having sex with me anymore. It did get to one point where we were only having quickies, and she had mentioned awhile back that she didn't like that she wanted to spend more time on sex than just ten minutes. So I figured she had a point, but it's like now when I try to get intimate with her kissing her, massage, etc.. she still doesn't want to.. What's the deal? I've tried foreplay everything but I don't know what. I've asked her it its me and she says no it's not so what the hell is it? �.. Please help.

Answer:

Dear Chris, There could be several reasons why your girlfriend seems to have lost her sex drive. Unfortunately we do not know her particular circumstances, so it is difficult to narrow it down to just one reason. One explanation may be that she is on hormonal birth control. If this is the case for her, the hormones in the birth control might possibly be diminishing her sex drive. Another alternative is that she is under a lot of stress. If she is having personal problems they may spill over into your relationship and sex life. She is asserting that the problem is not with you. That is hopefully the case, though she may possibly be having some doubts about the relationship. We suggest that you really try to talk this out with her. Though you have tried in the past, she has not been able to give you a coherent reason why your sex life has diminished. Try bringing up the following questions with her. Ask if she is just going through a rough time personally and ask what you can do to help. Ask if her sex drive has just gone down independent of your relationship, or if the two may be linked. Finally, try not to pressure your girlfriend into being physical if she is not interested. She may be viewing your attempts to be intimate as pressure to have sex, which may be pushing her away. Try to be supportive, and get to the bottom of this problem. Best of Luck,

--The Sexperts