I shower my girlfriend with affection and love, but she...
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I shower my girlfriend with affection and love, but she doesn't seem to return the favor. It's hard to get the affection I need from her. She only shows affection when I give it. Any advice? By Anonymous Asked Aug 25 2006 4:57AM
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Top Answer out of 16 by Anonymous60 on Aug 25, 2006 at 4:10 pm Permalink
I hope you have no plans of marrying this person. It will not get any better. if you are a huggy-type person and she is not, you are set for a life of gloom and doom. For love to function, it takes a two-way street. an unaffectionate spouse is a reason so many men and women turn other people.The world is full of loving, loving people. life is too short to be stuck with a popsicle.
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Ya_wehs rifle is loaded Aug, 25 2006 at 06:41 PM
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And where the heck were you, with this advice 10 years ago, John? I agree totally, having been there.
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Answer 2 out of 16 by lockstures4 on Oct 20, 2006 at 4:01 pm Permalink
haha, what you need to do is when your with her, dont overly show affection, act distant, that will bother her and she will bombard you with questions like: "are you mad at me?" whats wrong" then you can deny anything is wrong and give her a LETS SAY: an uneffectionate kiss on the cheek, this wont be enough to cease her curiousity...its works if she really cares about you
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Gina Oct, 15 2007 at 03:53 PM
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This would be my approach to the situation. I've used it on my husband several times in the past...i've almost given up now..
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Answer 3 out of 16 by Miss. Tandra51 on Oct 12, 2006 at 5:20 am Permalink
one reason is probably that shes afraid if your not giving it right now then u dont want it at that exact moment. And it may be easier for the boy to put himself out there then it is for the girl to might embarress herself.. but keep showing that you want it all the time and she might come around. hey and maybe even talk to her that alwayss workss
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lady fuschia Oct, 12 2006 at 05:47 AM
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I think there's some truth in that. Sometimes someone is scared to be too affectionate in case its rejected. They need a little persuasion!
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Answer 4 out of 16 by Ya_wehs rifle is loaded58 on Aug 25, 2006 at 8:24 am Permalink
Having been married to a woman like this, I can understand your frustration. Her attitude about this, is not likely going to change. Someone here posted, that you should hold back, and wait for her reaction. Why should you change your behavior to get her to change hers? I actually tried that route, to the point of also cutting out "night time activities". Nothing changed, except she got angry.It's really not up to you to change someone, they have to realize it for themselves. Point out to her, your feelings on the matter. If she doesn't want to be more affectionate, that's her choosing. Some simply don't like public displays of affection. In private, however, if it remains the same, there's really no excuse. You can choose too. You don't have to feel like an outsider and can move on.
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Answer 5 out of 16 by little_lady8817 on Aug 25, 2006 at 5:33 am Permalink
i understand your situation. have to admit that sometimes i do the same with my boyfriend ! he pampers me a lot, loves to hug me when he can and almost spoils me with cuddles, but i rarely do the first steps myself!i think that i do so because i m used to having him do everything in the first place. i dont have to ask him to hug me, he just does! .. my advice is that you should stay back from showing affection to her for a while, so that she has the chance to start everything by herself! "I have to go up and kiss/hug her instead of her comming to me." <- this doesnt mean that she doesnt love you or is not attracted to you. it may be that she is used to your pampering ! 'Laziness' is the word! .. If this does not work, just talk to her and tell her that you need her affection too, even if you dont go up to her and start everything yourself!!good luck !
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Answer 6 out of 16 by OXXXXY1 on Apr 4, 2008 at 7:41 pm Permalink
Yup, me too. I think we set up a precedency early on of over loving, instead of keeping an eye on an even balance. Once someone has something for a while, they will expect it to be that way from then on. The key here is to not over do it in the beggining. You give, theyre content. Why work for more if theyre getting it? They will if theyre not. Raise theyre interest level, back off a tad, not bluntly, ule see differences but,it takes time.
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Answer 7 out of 16 by taylor25 on Apr 3, 2008 at 3:07 pm Permalink
is your affection a result of your boozing, hound??if not you might want to considerfinding a new girlfirend...can you say selfish
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Answer 8 out of 16 by BOOZE HOUND7 on Apr 3, 2008 at 3:00 pm Permalink
sum people are just not openly affectionet mayby u should try being freinds
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Answer 9 out of 16 by Anonymous1 on Mar 28, 2008 at 4:17 pm Permalink
I love my girlfriend and I know she loves me but I have tried everything to try to get her to become more affectionate. She says she will work on it but nothing has changed the slightest bit. What should I do any advice!?!
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Answer 10 out of 16 by Anonymous1 on Jan 9, 2008 at 11:10 am Permalink
there is really no excuse for the lack of affection in a relationship. i'm going through the same situation right now. i shower my girlfriend with affection and i hardly get a kiss let alone a hug in return. she told me she is just "not that way" as a result of her lack of affection. whenever i see her in church she is constantly hugging and smiling to everyone else, but at home she insists on not kissing or hugging me. someone help me! i'm ready to leave her.
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