Who to contact for sex therapy

Who to contact for sex therapy: "Who to contact for sex therapy
Written by Christine Webber, psychotherapist and Dr David Delvin, GP and psychosexual specialist

In 2008, more and more people are seeking help with their sex lives.

Whether sex and relationship problems are on the increase, or whether numbers have grown because of people's willingness to seek help, is unclear. What is clear is that if you have concerns regarding any area of your sex life, there are plenty of ways in which you can get assistance.

However, our research suggests that you may have to try pretty hard to get that help – particularly in areas of the country where therapists are rather thin on the ground.

Current NHS policy means there is very little money available for treatment of sex problems. So in most parts of the UK, you will probably have to pay for therapy or counselling.

We've put together a quick checklist of the best professionals and organisations to approach.

Your GP

For most problems, a good starting point is to visit your GP for a preliminary chat about your issues.

Of course it’s not always easy to speak about sex problems. In fact, it can be downright embarrassing. And unfortunately, it’s not only the patients who are embarrassed. Some doctors are not at all comfortable talking about sex difficulties. But it is important to speak frankly to your doctor.

If you find that your own GP isn’t very helpful, it might be worth asking to see one of the other doctors who work at the same surgery. Usually the medic who is responsible for family planning in the practice is a good bet as he or she will be used to talking about sex.

Most GPs allow 10 minutes per patient these days, but as talking about sexual problems can take a while, it might be a good idea to book a double appointment (usually 20 minutes), if this is permitted in your practice.

Your doctor may be able to offer you some immediate help. For instance, in recent years GPs have started prescribing erection drugs such as Cialis (Tadalafil), Levitra (Vardenafil) and Viagra (Sildenafil), although the government places severe restrictions on who can receive them free of charge.

If your family practitioner can't help you, then he or she should discuss the viability of you getting free treatment on the NHS. Unfortunately, in large areas of the UK, no such free treatment is available. Nevertheless, your GP may know of private therapists in your region.

Family planning clinics

NHS family planning (FP) clinics used to be the main providers of psychosexual advice in the UK, particularly for women.

However, the current situation is that the clinics are mostly working under great pressure, so they tend to concentrate on their main job, which is providing contraception.

Many of the nurses and doctors do still have an interest in sexual problems, and will try to help you if time permits. They’re particularly good with the following difficulties:

* vaginismus

* low libido

* poor technique

* difficulty reaching orgasm

* not being able to conceive.

FP clinics make no charge for giving help.

NHS hospitals

In some areas of the country there are psychosexual units at large hospitals - London and Sheffield are relatively well off in this respect.

There is invariably a waiting list, but people eventually get seen and helped. When you do get an appointment, it may be for some time well in the future. Please try to summon up the courage to attend your appointment. A lot of people get ‘cold feet’ and don’t turn up, which means a wasted appointment slot.

Treatment is free, but you will need to be referred by your GP.

Genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics

GUM clinics treat sexually transmitted infections and can also help on all sorts of sexual issues.

They have good knowledge and lots of common sense, although the doctors are not generally highly trained in psychosexual issues because their forte is diagnosing and treating infections.

There are concerns that waiting times for GUM clinics are growing, but it should be possible for you to see a doctor within two weeks to get some general advice. However, specialist psychotherapy and marriage guidance are definitely not provided.

All consultations are free. Your nearest GUM clinic is likely to be situated in your nearest big hospital. Ring that hospital for details.

NHS gynaecologists and urologists

The NHS should be able to help if a sex problem is essentially physical, for example a too wide vagina after childbirth or a bent penis.

Women are generally referred by their GPs to a gynaecologist and men to a urologist.

Some gynaecologists and urologists now provide psychosexual counselling services, and many urologists are prescribing erection-inducing drugs.

Treatment is free. Your GP should be able to advise you about who to go to and, most essentially, write you a referral letter.

Relate and Relate Scotland

Relate is not just a relationship counselling agency.

A number of Relate counsellors have specific psychosexual training, mainly in the school of Masters and Johnson. So when you phone (0300 100 1234), make it clear that you are looking for sex therapy rather than guidance concerning relationship issues.

Relate sex counsellors are highly rated for doing an excellent job in treating various ‘technical’ bedroom problems such as:

* premature ejaculation

* lack of sex drive

* inability to climax.

But they are not doctors, and therefore cannot examine you or prescribe medication.

Relate's fees are relatively modest and are means-based.

Relate Scotland (until recently known as Couple Counselling Scotland) does similar good work to Relate, but north of the border. The number of your nearest clinic will be in your local phone book. The central number is 0845 1196088.

Institute of Psychosexual Medicine

The Institute of Psychosexual Medicine is an organisation of family planning doctors who have had special training in sex problems, particularly:

* vaginismus

* poor libido

* difficulty in climaxing.

Some work in family planning clinics; others treat clients privately. Some of the latter will see a patient without a GP's referral - but not all will do this. Fees can be up to £ 150 an hour in the more expensive parts of large cities, so make sure you check beforehand.

Call the Institute on 0207..., or email them: admin@ipm.org.uk

British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy

The British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy consists mostly of non-medical personnel though some of its members are qualified doctors. All the association’s accredited members have had extensive training.

The best way to find out about a therapist in your area is to email info@basrt.org.uk

Therapists charge fees, which vary greatly in different parts of the country. Consultations in Harley Street and similar areas are likely to be expensive.

Always check what the costs will be before booking yourself in. Currently, you are likely to pay anything from around £45 to over £100.

Prices vary enormously according to the therapist’s experience and also to his or her location. Obviously, Harley Street and other central London areas are very expensive as the therapist is having to pay very high rents for a consulting room. If therapists work from home, clearly they don’t have rental costs and this tends to keep their fees down.

Sexual Dysfunction Association (SDA)

Formerly the Impotence Association, the Sexual Dysfunction Association is a national charity that tries to help both men and women find a suitable therapist or clinic for sex problems. It doesn't provide treatment or see patients, but it does have some good factsheets.

You can contact them on 0870 77 43571."